The Condom Challenge

03/05/2013 09:09

So with all the drama going on in the world at the moment, let’s take a few minutes to look at the light-hearted nonsense of the world that makes…well, no sense. Nonsense.

It came to my attention a couple of weeks ago that there is yet another “trend” in the world of social media. The Condom Challenge - where humanoids snort a condom up their noses, and pull it out of their mouth. Charming, right? I am honestly not interested in knowing how this came about (Came. Ha.) But people everywhere are doing it and plastering it onto YouTube. Anything for 15 seconds of fame, right? One of the most popular videos is by a Miss “Savannah Strong” – cause who doesn’t want to see a pretty little teenager inhaling a condom, right? That’s normal.

My apologies. I am not going to be performing this challenge of the condom. Why?

Because it is a penis glove. Up your nasal cavity. Sometimes, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

There are many holes on the humanoid body that a condom was designed for insertion – but your nose is not one of them. Unless I am mistaken, and am out of touch with teen fetishes these days. This may just be the dumbest trend yet in today’s generation. As if the knife game was not enough (where people place their hand on a surface, fingers spread, and stab the surface between the fingers as fast as possible without stabbing yourself – needless to say this ended in much bloods, tears and stitches) or the cinnamon challenge (consuming a loaded tablespoon of cinnamon and attempting to swallow it before your mouth dries out entirely, or you vomit or suffocate to death) we now have children and teenagers snorting condoms. Oh, and who could forget the chubster minger who ate her own tampon. Kill me now. 

Seriously, some Neanderthal probably ran out of cocaine and sought the closest thing to it they could find. Cocaine…c…c…co…condoms. Makes perfect sense. Hey, here’s a condom, let me just put it up my freaking nose and see where it comes out. Or some non-sexually active lonely ass had a packet of unopened condoms, was high out of his skull (after running out of cocaine) and did his little fetish-based experiment.  “Well, no one wants to have sex with me. So I’ll just go ahead and…put it inside my nose. Cause I’m not gonna be putting it in any other holes.”

People died performing the cinnamon challenge, got severely and irreversibly injured in the knife game (People have even died while “Planking” and “Owling”, falling to their deaths while trying to plank/owl to new levels. If you don’t know what planking or owling is, google it) and mark my words, it will not be long before someone takes their final breath in the condom challeange, which will unfortunately be laced with latex as opposed to oxygen. In a positive

light, perhaps these kids will get so excited with putting condoms up their nose, they will forget to have sex. #PreventingTeenagePregnanciesForTheWin.

So if you wanna jump on the band wagon, and you know, stick knives between your fingers, eat a mouth-drying-potentially-lung-filling-and-killing- compound, or slice up a line of condoms to sniff up you nose, you know, put your life at risk and all that, go ahead. Not me, thanks.

What's your opinion on this latex-laced nightmare? Be sure to let me know your thoughts. Or don't, that's ok too.

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